Friday, February 26, 2010

My Dad

I received a phone call from my uncle this last Sunday saying that my dad was in the hospital. Not the best of news, especially since 1. I don't know him very well, and 2. he doesn't yet know God.

My parents were divorced when I was six years old. My mother is happily remarried and I love my stepdad, but I still always longed for things to be made right in my relationship with my biological father. It's like the story is unfinished, there has been no conclusion. I knew a little bit about him, but not like a son should. My brothers and I grew up seeing him every three or four years, maybe. He wasn't there, and it seemed that he just wasn't into the "raising kid's thing". So, we learned to live like that, and life moved on. Well, I knew that I harbored resentment and was still angry at him, but I guess I realized this week that I just don't have time to hold grudges. He is not the healthiest 56 year old. I may not have too many more years to get to know him.

My brothers and I were able to take some time off work to make a trip to see him (12 hours on the road!), and we had a good time together. Thankfully, he did show a genuine desire to know us. He is doing better, and what we thought was kidney failure, probably isn't. I didn't know him as a child, but that is all he knew me as. This trip to see him has begun a new relationship, one where he knows me as a man, and I pray, a man of God.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Shhh…

I know I don't post much….try not at all, but maybe that'll change since I now have a laptop and actually feel like the writer I aspire to be.

So….I went to this website (faithwriters.com) to check out their weekly writing challenge and possibly enter. I saw the topic was "Shhh" and I thought that I had something that would work. After finishing it, I went to enter and found out that you now have to be a paying member to submit entries. Makes sense, but I'm just a bit bummed. Maybe I'll end up paying, but at least for now I can post my entry here on my blog (where sadly I know, only a handful of eyes will ever see).

Oh and just so ya know, they give you a topic and you can do ANYTHING with it. You can write a poem, a story, from any angle as long as it somehow has something somewhere to do with "Shhh". Creativity and uniqueness score high points in the judging as well as whether or not is a good read. Here it is:


 

Toby wished he didn't have to do this. There was a sense of pride in having to step up and provide for his momma, but it was times like this especially, and when he lay down at night, that Toby wished Dad were here.

The poor animal wailed and moaned as its blood pumped out of the wound in its neck. He hadn't meant for it to be painful. They just needed to eat. He put the bow away as he made his way towards the deer. It was a foal, a child like him. Where was its pa?

"Shhh…", he cried, "I'm so sorry." Toby spoke to the deer tenderly. It was with near hysteria that he repeated the refrain "sorry. I'm so sorry" until his heart burned within him and he was overcome.

"Why?!" he demanded, yelling into the empty woods until his throat burned raw. It had finally hit him… that he was alone. Mom was still here, but he had to be strong for her. Toby had no one in the world to be strong for him now. Why did things have to be this way? Why was this deer out alone? Why had they both been abandoned, easy prey for this world, Toby's tortured mind demanded to know, as he wept over this dying creature. He and momma had to eat, and he knew it would be hard, but not like this. Why couldn't it have been an easy kill, noiseless?

He saw no hope of comfort for himself, but offered to the deer as much as he could muster, drawing his knife from his belt to put an end to its suffering.

"Shhh. It'll be over soon. Shhh…", putting his tiny hands over its eyes, just like dad had done, Toby made the cut that brought relief to one and stole the innocence of another. The deer was the one who had lost its life today, but Toby knew that something in him had died as well.

This was a world gone mad, and Toby didn't know why.